I don’t know if you’ve noticed lately, but it seems that a lot of powerful white men seem pretty fragile lately. Whether they be in political institutions, or religious ones, they sure are presenting a lot of insecurity. And we all know what that looks like: defensiveness, anger, subterfuge, control, big cars and bigger armies.
I mean, have you seen the look on their faces?
On our faces?
I think it stems from a fear that they are losing their authority.
For a long time now, authority has simply been assumed—and demanded—by white men in our culture. But a shift seems to be taking place. Other voices are being heard. Other votes are being counted. And while wealth and privilege are still most definitely controlled by white men in this country, the underlying authority appears to be crumbling.
And I would argue that white men should stop clinging to this authority. That ship has sailed.
And it ain’t coming back.
But I would also argue that we still need white men to have an authority. (Said the white man.)
Hang with me here. I think white males—myself included—need to stop wielding the kind of authority that is commandeered, demanded, wrested, defended. You see it when a white male delegitimizes or dehumanizes another group, or when a white male asks another people to be patient, make sacrifices, stop being so ugly, brutish, and self-righteous. Now the truth may be that a particular group needs to be less ugly, brutish, and self-righteous; that they need to be patient and make sacrifices. But the white male cannot be the one who demands that of them any longer.
The authority that white males need to carry, that our world still needs them to hold, is the kind of authority that can only be earned and given, the kind of authority that everyone else has had to earn and be given. They can no longer demand authority; instead they need to earn it. They can no longer wrest authority from others; they need to live in such a way that others will willingly give it to them…just like everybody else.
One early Christian teacher sets up husbands, historically owners of their brides in the ancient near east, like this: “For the husband is the head of the wife…” Suddenly, everything just burst into amplified stereo. From one speaker, you can hear the men in the room: “Preach it, brother!” From the other end of the room, “Here we go again…”
But it’s a set up. Here comes the roundhouse kick to the midsection: “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” Here’s what this teacher says that looks like, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.”
How, according to the first Christians, is “Christ the head of the church”? He loves it. How does Jesus love the church? He serves it, sacrifices his life for it, before that church gave him anything in return. “Headship” meant being first, and being first in only one way: being the first to sacrifice for the good of the other. It meant nothing other than that.
I would propose that white males everywhere—myself included—put down a demanded authority and pick up an earned, given authority. And that can only happen, according to the tradition of Jesus, when men are willing to submit, serve, and initiate sacrifice.
And that means, by exponential extension, white men.
If they are to have any real authority, I believe they—we—need to earn whatever authority others are willing to give. And that will require that we live lives of authenticity, humility, and integrity.
There are those that contend that white men have been getting by on their soil-ness for too long: that they’re measurably white…and male…and strong…and tall…and loud…and have historically been in power. The current pushback, I think, in its best possible sense, is a pushback against this kind of authority.
So that what I am suggesting is white men seek to cultivate their immeasurable spirit-ness to earn their authority: through integrity, humility, authenticity, submission.
Just like everybody else.
All of which is why I pulled out of leadership roles in church and community.
I would argue that we still we need your voice.
In light of this comment and others I am moved to add another few lines. I have never told anyone, or talked to anyone, before about what I am going to write. For many of my early years in life it seemed that any job I had I easily moved up through the ranks and was given a leadership role. That was not necessarily my goal, it just seemed to happen very naturally. However, once in that role whatever challenge there was I soon lost interest and would move on to another, even more interesting, work. Then in 1978 I was asked to pastor a small congregation in Oregon. During this time I began to see that my real gifts were not in being the top leader but being a really needed equipper and supporter. I began to realize that my most important role may be behind the scene, without a lot of public credit or praise. So was this a real feeling?
Well after six years as pastor I was given an opportunity to find out if what I was feeling was real. I was asked if I would be interested in working for a software development company on a two person team, where the team leader would be my wife. It was clearly expected that I would follow her lead. She would be paid appropriately as leader and I would be paid appropriately as her assistant. Just let that sink in for a moment.
For the next twelve years my wife and I traveled together across the country, between 30 and 33 weeks per year, installing and teaching software, working on common problems, finding integrated solutions, eating and sleeping together. At week’s end we would come home, and I would mow the lawn, and do those things needing done on the outside of the house and Lois would do those things needing attention on the inside of the house. Monday morning would find us at another installation somewhere in the USA or Canada. We were a powerful team and I never did anything to undermine her leadership either if public or privet.
Following those nearly 12 years, the company reorganized the way we did installations and I was asked to join various three person teams and also asked if at anytime I wanted to be the team leader. I declined as team leader. Many times the team leader was much younger than I and could be either male of female. Also many times these team leaders, happy to be leader, were also a bit uncomfortable because they knew my experience was greater than theirs. Many times I would simply say, their leadership and the team’s success will benefit far greater by whatever I can do in a supporting role. Our teams never failed.
I am confident that my Spiritual Gifts are found in Supporting Roles, in Equipping and Teaching Roles. However, these must also be tempered with Compassion and Understanding. I don’t need to be the first to speak, nor the last to speak. I don’t need to have all the answers but rather focus on possibilities, flexabilities, acceptabilities and be a situational spontaneous mentor.
I am open to talk with anyone about what I have just written.
Thank you, Phil, for sharing your story. Knowing our role, and being okay with that role being under the radar, is so important. Thank you for your witness.
AMEN brother!!!!!!!!!!!!
And besides, when anyone, be they man or woman, whatever color, etc. lives that life of authenticity, integrity, humility………………..
they then begin to recognize it is the only path to internal peace, which then produces more internal and external love in their life.
My $.o2 worth.
Well said. And, to steal from Stephen Wright, I’ll give you a penny for your thoughts and keep the change. Hahaha!
This particular post was a huge encouragement to me, as you are echoing something God has recently been teaching me as well. When I first heard this verse along with this description of Headship: “being the first to sacrifice for the good of the other”, I suddenly felt like I had a clear example of God’s plan for manhood and masculinity. I have often wrestled with what true masculinity looks like, especially in our current context that seems to be questioning and shaking up a lot of previously held ideas (ultimately for the better). But because Christ gave us this example, this description suddenly resonated with me as truth in a new and profound way. Thanks for sharing this!
Cool. Thanks for the feedback. There’s actually a lot more to that reading, including why Paul chose the word “kephale” over the word “arche”. Really interesting stuff!
I think you should definitely read this post by Christena Cleveland…it echoes what you are saying so well. She uses language of “last” as a way to describe what position those in power can now take. Thanks for “going there.”
http://www.christenacleveland.com/blog/2016/12/new-series-how-to-be-last-a-practical-theology-for-privileged-people
Thanks!
Jake, as I read, I finally thought through my reaction to the term “white privilege”. I agree that husbands should love their wives . . . as Christ loved the Church . . . and He loved me and gave Himself for me. Then the argument is flipped to “all white men need to serve, earn authority, etc.” But the verse is addressed to believers regardless of color. Husbands (red, and yellow, black and white) need to serve and love as Christ loved us. White men aren’t leaned on easier than other races, nor are they given a pass. All races must love Christ as He loved us, with no comparison to anyone else. Christ isn’t swayed by white privilege. He addresses our relationship with Him. We begin with our absolute need of His salvation, and progress to joy in His presence. Authority is His. Sinful men distort that fact.
Final note : the thought that white men are the only ones on the planet who pursue such evil is ludicrous. I give you Chairman Mao, Maduro of Venezuela, Ayatollah Khamenei, the leaders of the bloody repressions in Nigeria, Congo, and our neighbors in Somalia, South America and the middle east. I’m only reviewing the 20th century. Going back through the ages, there is plenty of misery spread – but by men of every shade. Why? Because, ultimately, we all need salvation from Christ alone.
Yep. Loving wives is universal, regardless of color. What I wanted to illustrate was that, for the first Christians, the more power you held, the more responsibility you had to serve another and abdicate toxic power. That’s why I said that this is exponentially true for white men. And that’s the only group I can speak for, quite honestly, since I am one. To point the finger at others’ abuse of power is impotence. We have to take into consideration that our wealth and power have been the result of the original affirmative action in our country: 400 years of legislated privilege for white people.
I understand and appreciate your reply. But saying that all white men “have gained power and wealth in this country because of original affirmative action” is painting with an incredibly broad brush. Wealthy white men came South after the Civil War and were delighted to hold the white Southerners down under military control. As time passed, other men with money happily hired other men of many colors to sharecrop their acres. My grandfather was one of the sharecroppers. When white Irish men immigrated to America, they were generally despised – and held low-paying jobs to scrape by. My great-grandfather was one of those Irishmen. What I’m trying to illustrate is that color doesn’t matter. Your heart for Christ does. When we try to spread Christ’s love, we’ll spread it to everyone. When we wield our earthly power over others, we wield it as we please. That’s why I find the phrase “white privilege” empty.